My plan

I am going to make a very high-quality digital recording of my dogs slurping up their food.  This takes them about ten minutes.  I'll do this over the course of about ten days.

Then, I will take my recording to the state where my hospitals at my second job are located, where I will kidnap and hold hostage every doctor who eats while dictating.  I will take them to one of those high-quality recording rooms at the local university, give them enough speed to keep them awake for a very long time, lock them in, and play my wonderful recording on a loop.  For 72 straight hours.

Afterward, if they complain, I'll shout at them that they're educated people and should be able to deal with a silly little thing like a recording of dogs eating, and give them more speed and lock them in again for more listening.

This will continue until they promise on pain of death that they will NEVER EVER CHEW AND SLURP AND MAKE GROSS NOISES WITH THEIR GODDAMN FOOD IN MY EAR EVER AGAIN.